Suffering - evil in the world: that disturbs you profoundly because you have not understood that this was the suffering of Christ radiating everywhere. The suffering he took upon himself in order to create the world, so that you might have souls. And as soon as you have to bear the smallest particle of that suffering, you howl.
And despair, Christ's despair, when he believed that God had forsaken him. He had made himself a man to that point, to that lowest point that he had to believe himself forsaken of the Father: for in that belief is all sin. So he cried: Why? and he died. Of course. What would it have mattered to him to die and to suffer knowing all the time that he was God? That was too easy. That would have not been Creation: he had to take on all sin and all suffering, and descend so low as to be cut off from the Father altogether - and yet in that state to say: Father, into thy hands I commit my spirit. He had to withdraw entirely from his godhead to create the world, he had to give himself up, in order to create sinners, evil, men, the world. Otherwise he would have remained God, God only - there would have been no world, no souls, no men.
All the despair of mankind, from end to end of the ages, what is it ever but the re-echoing down the courses of time of this despair of Jesus. Man also, did he always know, that God the Father is there, what merit would man have in his work, in his suffering? How would man prove to God hat he loves Him? It would be merely man's interest to love God, were man sure that God exists. One can only love truly a God whom one does not know for sure to exist. One can love truly only the God that does not exist.
We live in limbo and thirst for freedom. Freedom from all forms of movement. To escape from existence in a world focused on perpetuating self-doubt and self-limitation. A dance of life is a dance of death. A body in its cage. Time and mortality its bars. Deviate and escape.
Vested interests of every kind want us lazy and atrophied. Every waking moment conspires to constrain our potential both physical and mental, yet we have no responsibility to anybody to exist on any plane.
Man's fall from grace is his fall from inner security. His defeat is his surrender to conditioned boundaries imposed by the strict regime of acceptability instead of natural honesty of his individual instinct that recognizes all things to be in a state of flux. Music can express this flux freely in a flexing of rhythm and sound. Music is ecstasy, mystery and power divined by those who see no separation between private and public in their attitude to al movements of daily life. The motive for a meal, music or making love become the same. To simply find and be yourself without guilt, without competition, without games.
We are trained to not even WANT to think. Decondition the condition. Conditioning is control. Control is stability. Stability is safety for those with a vested interest in control. Let's go out of control. What breaks the cycle is a psychic jolt. Music is magick, a religious phenomena that short circuits control through human response. The moment we forget ourselves and end the limbo dance we enter the world of struggle, joy and clarity. A tragic but magickal world where it is possible to accept mortality and thereby deny death. Experience without dogma, anguish without shame or sham. A morality of anti-cult. Occult culture. Its rituals collective yet private, performed in public but invisible. White souls stripped bare to reveal bleeding yet hopeful sadness. The rites of youth. Our alchemical human heritage, encased like a cadaver in a black suit.
To live is to either exist, or to struggle against imposed controls and fight for individual destiny, vision and expression. Franz Kafka said:
"I do not hope for victory. I do not enjoy the struggle for its own sake, I could only enjoy it because it is all I can do. As such the struggle does indeed fill me with a joy which is more than I can really enjoy, more that I can give, and I shall probably end by succumbing not to the struggle but to the joy."